It's hard to say goodbye to vacation. It's hard to say goodbye to summer, too. And it's especially hard to say goodbye to a vacation that comes at the end of summer, because then you have to say goodbye to both at the same time.
It was strange, the amount of sadness and bit of anxiety that came over me the last few days of our well-timed family vacation in Sandbridge, VA. It had been so very nice, to be away from the world for a while. Away from the emotional stress of work, the trudge of day to day life, the weight of responsibilities, the current harsh political climate, and away from some hard complexities going on in my life and the lives of those around me. The rest, the sun, the sand, and the ocean were so good for my soul.
On our last day of vacation, Mike and I had signed up to make dinner for the family. Between grocery shopping, prepping food for dinner, putting Hazel down for a nap, and then preparing dinner, I had a nice 2 hour window of time in the afternoon to enjoy the beach one last time. I kept making jokes to family members that I wanted to "say my peaceful goodbyes to the ocean." With Hazel napping inside and lovely grandparents who were willing to keep an eye on her, I made my way to the beach where I enjoyed some quiet time. I soaked up my last few rays, enjoyed my book, and dozed off to the sounds of the waves crashing repeatedly on the shore.
Then, as silly as it might sound, I felt an urge... a pull, to actually communicate with the ocean. That vast body of water, so beautiful, so alive... making me feel so small, yet so cared for in its presence. Making my problems feel so far away. Giving me perspective on the hugeness of this life, and giving me a sense of peace that no matter what, it will always carry on. So... I walked along the shore, praying silently. Feeling the smoothness of the sand beneath my feet. Smelling the salt in the air. Thanking the ocean, for what it had given me that week. For its wisdom and grace. For the restoration I felt in its company. I thanked it for its healing properties, and for what it gives to us all who are fortunate enough to visit. I expressed my gratitude for being able to afford the time and money it took to be there.
And I returned to my spot on the beach, collected my things, and started inside to make dinner for the family. And strangely, I felt at peace. A shift had occurred, and I was in a better place about letting go of our vacation and saying goodbye to summer. And perhaps some other things, too.
As I walked back to the house, it struck me how important it is to "say our peaceful goodbyes" in this life. To say goodbye to seasons that we pass through, and to thank each one for what it has given us. For how it has enriched our lives, or made us better. Or what we have learned from being there. No matter the duration of time, or how painful the goodbye is...
Because most of the time, we don't want our vacations to be over. Or to see our babies grow up. Or to realize our parents get older. Or to get older ourselves. Or to let go of loved ones, loved places, or loved careers, when it comes time to move on without them.
But how necessary it is, to accept the passing of time and the end of each era in our lives.
In the grand scheme of things, obviously, saying goodbye to a vacation is not a big deal - especially if you know that there are more to come in the future. Other, more final things, are MUCH more difficult to approach.
All things considered, I've never been good at goodbyes. But I am beginning to see how important they are, whether they are said out loud or only in our minds and hearts. The essential thing is that they are said at all. So that we may eventually find peace in the process of letting go... of each season we pass through. And in each new chapter that we face on the other side.
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