10 things...

As a social worker, I utilize a strengths-based approach with clients.  I encourage them to see the things that they are good at, and encourage them to build on these strengths.  I work to decrease the focus on deficits, and increase the focus on positive qualities that can empower them to know their own worth.  Their own internal strengths.  To build self-esteem, and to hope that they will make positive choices as a result.  

Using a strength-based approach with others is like second nature to me. 

But when it comes to approaching my own worth, why is it so much harder to apply this same theory of practice?

Oh, double standards.

Some days are better than others.  Some days, I feel insecure and unsure about myself, and what I can offer to this world.  I compare myself to others, and see only the things that I'm not good at - the areas where I fall short.  And I struggle with guilt, and all the things I'm not doing for those that I care about, or not doing for myself.  I wonder what people think of me.  And I see all the things in my home and life that need to be done, and all the things that I have left undone.  And in my head, I compile lists like this:

10 things I'm not good at:

1)  writing thank you notes
2)  cleaning the bathrooms
3)  cleaning out my car/purse
4)  home decorating
5)  shopping
6)  getting rid of old clothes/stuff
7)  being on time
8)  organizing
9)  going to bed early
10) asking for help

Oh, the list could go on, but I spare myself the discomfort and stop at 10.

And then other days, things are better.  I feel good about myself, and how hard I work.  How much I love, and how I contribute to my family, my community, and society.  I am graceful with my own heart, and can glimpse my own worth as a person of value.  And in my head, I compile a list like this:

10 things I am good at:

1)  following a recipe
2)  managing finances
3)  empathy
4)  going with the flow
5)  forgiveness
6)  reading nonverbal cues
7)  seeing the good in people
8)  making Hazel laugh
9)  hugging
10) sincerity

In  my work with clients, in my relationships with family members and friends, and in my own evolving self-awareness - I realize how important it is to accept and embrace who we are - the good, bad, and the in between.  How critical it is to fight the natural tendency to compare ourselves to others, and to embrace the uniqueness that we all inhabit.  To accept the areas of our lives where we are less than perfect, and to identify where we have room for growth.  To feel good about the areas where we excel, to examine our strengths, and how they carry us through the terrain of our often rocky lives. 

To practice grace, honesty, and compassion.  With others, but more importantly and with much more difficulty - with ourselves.  

All things considered,  it's the positive that outweighs the negative. 

It's the second 10 things that count the most.